Lessons from a Three-Year-Old: Context is Everything!

November 7th, 2011

Amy Dunbar

One of the luxuries of having a three-year-old is that he is potty-trained. Oh yeah – let me say that with a bit of boogey-shaking-happiness! Potty-trained! And he can do most everything by himself (I have to still help with post-poo cleaning, though, but it is way better than cleaning a poo diaper! Trust me!).

The other day he jumped up from the game we were playing and went running down the hall singing, “I gotta go potty … oooh … I gotta go pohhh–ttyyyyy.” He is notorious for waiting to the last minute and then jumping up and running to do his business – guess this is normal for kids his age. After a couple of minutes, I left his brother to block-tumbling-fun and went to the bathroom door.

“Big C … are you all done?”

“No mommy – I just like playing with my balls!”

Huh? (Total confusion!)

I am sure you can imagine what I was thinking. So I walked in and apparently he had carried two play golf balls into the bathroom with him. He was finished going potty, and had pulled up his pants and washed his hands, but he was sitting on the floor rolling his balls around.

“Mommy, I just like my balls.”

Ding – Ding – Ding . . . and the light comes on for my confused mind. And I laugh to myself.

Have you ever heard part of something and thought you understood things? You know … you catch the tail end of a conversation or you overhear someone make a comment and you make some conclusion based on what you have heard. Problem is … whatever you heard is likely out of context.

I am guilty of doing this with my husband. I will half pay attention to what he is saying while unloading the dishwasher or folding laundry, then he’ll say something that I do hear and either I am confused or I misunderstand. You can imagine how frustrating this is for him … but I have my agenda, my list of things that need to be done. And somehow I rationalize that those things are more important than giving him my undivided attention. Admittedly, if we argue this usually gets things going. He – like most men – like to be affirmed and know that he is valuable and important. When I don’t listen because I am busy, and then misunderstand him … it communicates to him that I don’t care and he isn’t that valuable to me.

By God’s grace – and a few arguments – I have realized this and am prayerfully trying to learn to set everything down and give my husband the attention and respect he deserves.

But I don’t just do this to my husband.

I do this in my relationship with God all of the time. I get busy and I half listen, I rationalize that I am doing good things and just too busy to sit and listen. After all, when does a mother of two small children have a minute to herself unless she is on the toilet (even then, I often have an audience)?

When I read the bible, I often want a one verse blessing. I am tired and busy and try to squeeze a little truth in before the 6:00 a.m. cries of the day begin. I open my bible and look to one verse and pray that it will have the word I need for the day. I read the verse and make conclusions without necessarily opening the door to its meaning by reading its context. Without context, though, I am bound to be confused or misunderstand what it is saying. And without context, I am not giving God or the Word the respect deserved.

I pray that you and I would take a little time to listen to each other, our spouses, and God today. If you are confused about something, you may just need a little context.

Will you open the door today?