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Like most other parents, I have made my fair share of mistakes along the way. I have done things that I regretted, said things I wanted to take back, etc. I try the best I can to be that perfect mom, but I’m still me – and perfect I ain’t.

Well, there are moments in parents – moments of desperation – that all my well thought out parenting philosophies crunch under the reality of my strong-willed child. I try – I really do – but some days …

A few weeks ago, I told Big C that is was nap time. “Let’s go upstairs now. It’s naptime.”

“No mommy. No want to. No need take a nap. My play with my four-wheeler.”

Already tired getting cranky Lil’ C in bed, I tried to hold my ground. I stood at the gate separating the den from the foyer and gave him the stern-mommy look, “Big C, this is not an option. It is time for bed.”

And in true child-of-mind form, he crossed his arms, tensed his jaw and said, “No.”

I quickly imagined a few scenarios.

1. Putting him in time-out or giving him a spanking, then him screaming loud enough to wake his brother.
2. Picking him up kicking and screaming and carrying him to bed, which would have woken his brother.
3. Bribing him.

Can you guess which option this less-than-perfect mommy chose? Yep, you guess it. I pulled out the bag of M&M’s, placed about 10 in a little bowl, showed it to him, and silently walked upstairs. And without a fight, without waking his brother, he followed me up to his room, crawled in bed, took the bowl, and said night-night Mommy.

I know – I know. I broke so many mommy rules. Don’t bribe your kids. Don’t send them to bed with food. Don’t give them candy without brushing their teeth.

But our house got the much needed rest it needed that afternoon and all those “don’t’s” didn’t really seem that important.

So fast forward a few weeks … guess who still asks for M&M’s before he takes a nap? “Mommy, me want M&M’s.”

Don’t worry, I don’t give them to him. But all it took was one time – one time of caving to the easy, to create a new challenge. Ugh! I can be just as stubborn, if not more, than Big C. I want incentive, motivation to do something I don’t want to do. I want someone to wave a bowl of M&M’s in front of my face before I say yes.

Maybe that is just human nature. Maybe it’s just Amy-nature. Maybe there is still a bratty toddler locked up inside me.

Either way … sometimes doing what I don’t want to do is what I need to do. Big C needs naps and a sometimes there I things that I need but don’t realize it. And I resist unless there are M&M’s.

I hold out my hand to my family, my friends, and even God and say, “Me want M&M’s”

And although sometimes I get what I am asking for, it shouldn’t be required. Thankfully God is patient with me, just like I am with Big C. And while I don’t usually get incentive to do what He wants, sometimes I need it. I need it because I don’t understand how badly I need whatever He is telling me to do.

Hmm  …

Still thinking about this one.